I don't like it, I LOVE it!

"Gymnastics tells you NO. All day long. It mocks you over and over and over again. Telling you: "you're an idiot", that you're crazy! If you like running full speed towards a stationary object, vault is for you. If you like pealing skin the size of quarters of your hands, bars is for you. Because the only thing more fun than rips, is when your ribs get rips. It's super sexy. And floor, are you serious, I mean, who doesn't want to parade around in a leotard getting wedgies and doing dorky choreography? It's delicious. If you like falling, then gymnastics is the sport for you! You get to fall on your face, your ass, your back, your knees, and your pride! It's a good thing I don't like falling... I love it!
Ellite gymnastics is like the navy seals, only harder. And there are like 2,000 navy seals, and there are only like 200 ellite gymnasts. I guess that is because most kids would rather have a life than spending 6 hours a day training tricks that can kill you. Look, don't be fooled by the retarded people, the things gymnasts do make the navy seals look like nothing. And we do them without a gun."

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